My Office - A Written Tour Part I

Working in a poverty-stricken area has it's perks, I must say. Not only do I get to step over garbage and excrement on my way to my office, but sometimes I also get to step over sleeping people. The locals who are not asleep and happen to wander the streets aimlessly, carelessly even (driving at this time is a whole other beast...it's like a human slalom down the main thoroughfare), between 7:00-8:00AM in the morning allow me to escape my typical morning routine and pretend I am starring in George A. Romero's 1978 classic: Dawn of the Dead. These people move way too slow to be in the realm of present day Hollywood's fast-moving re-animators. But I digress, back to my office.

After walking up four filthy stories, I arrive to my cozy office which used to be a storage closet/hub for all the building's wires and technology. The receptacles, outlets, and other wires that I'm sure will create the basis for my eventual demise all hang off the wall. Not one electrical outlet is secured to the wall, and in fact, while on a long weekend the custodial staff decided to just paint over the holes where the screws would go instead of remounting them. Not only is this beaut shaped like an irregular pentagon, which makes it impossible to fit my furniture in correctly (filing cabinets are butted up to two out of four desk drawers), it has QUITE THE VIEW. Remember when Bugs Bunny would run through a door, only to have Elmer Fudd open it seconds later and there was a brick wall? Okay, now get rid of Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd and the door and pretend it's the 6 foot window in my office.

Who else gets to clean mouse shit off their desk every morning? One fond memory is the time I left the windows open for the weekend, two sky-rats build a condo on the random faux closet in the room then decimated my whole office, computer keyboard included, with their special kind of bird crap. It was definitely "Shock and Awe" all the way, I'm wondering which one of these f-ckers is Rumsfeld.

Though I could go on and on about my office, I'll save it for my return in September.

Three more hours until a full-blown AWLA event!